Tragic Sandwich

Tag: gifts

  • Keeping the Holiday Stress in Check

    Impossible, you say? A lot of people would agree with you; the Washington Post reports that holiday stress makes this the most challenging time of year for many women.

    I have wonderful memories of childhood Christmases. There were always lots of gifts.

    There were decorations–lights on the house, and a tall, full tree festooned with ornaments, and tinsel. There were cookies–my mom’s shortbread cookies remain some of my favorite Christmas cookies, even though I haven’t had them in years. There was a big meal–roast prime rib, Yorkshire pudding, creamed spinach, and baked potatoes, with gingerbread for dessert.

    But none of that was what made those Christmases special. Fun, sure, but not special.

    No, what made them special was the love. The time we spent together, taking turns exploring those gifts. Making dinner. Watching movies. Playing new board games.

    That’s what I want to give Baguette. And I want to make those elements part of her childhood, too. But that doesn’t mean I have to make it stressful. My secret? Setting boundaries.

    Christmas tree, Baguette, and Ernie

    Tree: I want to have a tree. But it doesn’t need to be the 8-foot-tall Balsam I grew up with. We’re just as happy with a 4-1/2 foot Noble fir (Mr. Sandwich and I like trees that have layers of branches, the better to hang ornaments). In fact, we only had a tall tree once–and that was because we were so late in buying our tree last year that the tree lot was out of the small size we’d hoped for.

    Decorations: Mr. Sandwich strings lights on the house each year. I love them. But we don’t need to go all Clark Griswold in the process. (I have plans to make a door wreath of buttons. I’ve had this plan for years. Someday, it’ll happen.)

    Gifts: We don’t need to give a lot of them to each person. We just need to open them together.

    Food: Well, I do like that traditional meal. But, really, it’s not that hard to make, and it’s pretty easy to plan it so that everything comes out hot at the same time.

    Cookies: I don’t make Christmas cookies. I want to, but what I really want to do is make them with Baguette, and she’s not quite ready to do that. Maybe next year. I feel like next year’s going to be a big one.

    So our Christmas may be smaller-scale than many, but we’re spending it together, with our focus on each other. And that really is all I want for Christmas.

  • Wish List

    Gifts under the Christmas tree

    The other day, my dad asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him that I had thought of something a few days earlier, but I’d forgotten what it was.

    This is typical for me. When I was a kid, I would come up with six or seven ideas. In June. In the fall, when my mother would ask what I wanted, all I could remember was that there had been something.

    As an adult, I’ve become a big fan of the useful gift. One year my brother gave me a blender. The next year he gave me a paper shredder. A couple of years ago, he and my sister-in-law gave me a gift card that helped me get a KitchenAid stand mixer. I’ve forgotten a lot of gifts, but I remember these, because they rocked. And the only one I’m still not using is the paper shredder, because I used it to death.

    When my dad and stepmom went on a Mediterranean cruise a few years ago, they came back with gifts for everyone. My sister-in-law, my step-sister-in-law, my stepsister, and her daughter all got jewelry. Before I got my gift, my stepmom said, “This is your father’s doing. He insisted.” I opened up my bag and yelled, “Olive oil soap! Awesome!”

    Before Mr. Sandwich and I were engaged, Christmas rolled around. He said, “What do you want me to get you?” I said, “Oh, I really want slippers.” He said, “Are you sure?” I said that I was, and pointed out that in fact slippers are a very romantic gift: “My feet get cold, and every time I put on these slippers, I will think, ‘My boyfriend gave me these, and now my feet are warm.’”

    When you are living in a New Jersey winter, you really appreciate having warm feet. In fact, even though I’m far from New Jersey, I still do.

    What’s on your list?

  • Holiday Traditions: Opening Gifts

    I’ve written about what we eat, and how we’re trying to balance different gift-giving philosophies. But what about the actual gifts?

    Mr. Sandwich’s family would get up and go for a run. If you don’t think this sounds traditional, then you don’t know the Sandwiches–and has he got some stories for you. After that they’d open presents going one in turn, have breakfast, and loll about until it was time to go to the theater and see whatever uplifting and light-hearted holiday movie had been selected for the day. (Standouts include “Platoon,” “Das Boot,” “Empire of the Sun,” and “Dune.” The year they saw “Working Girl” marked a real sea change–although not so thorough a change as to keep them from “The Crucible” years later.)

    Across the country (or halfway across, depending on when exactly we’re talking about), my brother and I would insist on a ridiculously early wake-up time, actually waking up two hours earlier, convinced that someone was breaking into the house to steal our presents. (We had a similar fear about the Thanksgiving turkey.) We would hide and play in my room until it was time to get our parents up. Then we would all head downstairs to the living room.

    We’d open stockings, each pulling out one item in turn, and then have breakfast. After that, we’d move back to the living room and open gifts one at at time, with hugs for the giver after each. The rest of the day was spent playing with toys and board games, watching movies, and reading books, followed by preparing our traditional dinner. Unlike the Sandwiches, we never left the house. It was a lovely, cocooning day with immediate family.

    Tomorrow morning will be our first real Christmas morning in our home; the others have all been spent with one or the other set of parents. We’re still figuring out what we want to do–open gifts? Save them for later when we’re at Mr. Sandwich’s parents’ home? Some of both? I don’t know if we’ll settle on something that is the start of a tradition. But that’s okay. Traditions take time.

  • Have a Holly, Jolly, Blurry Christmas

    I’ll probably post again before the weekend, but as we’re midway through our various celebrations, this seems as good a time as any to hurl holiday cheer into the Internet void.

    This past weekend, my side of the family came to town for a visit. We went to Baguette’s day care holiday performance (I am conflicted about the existence of such an event, relieved that once again she was not traumatized, and won over by how cute toddlers are), bought a tiny, tiny tree, and cooked a lot of food. Sunday was our Christmukkah celebration (even though Hanukkah didn’t start until last night), which started off with breakfast (apple bread, scrambled eggs, bacon, turkey sausage) and quickly moved on to opening gifts. After that it was time to make dinner:

    • Roast prime rib
    • Yorkshire pudding
    • Maple-glazed carrots
    • Betty Crocker Potatoes Au Gratin

    That last was a nod to my recovery from surgery; while I have a recipe for potatoes au gratin that I love, it is somewhat labor intensive. So I asked for suggestions, and the boxed solution was brought up as an alternative. Let’s just say I wouldn’t do that again.

    This weekend we’ll have a Pirate Christmas gift exchange with some sort-of-local cousins, and we’ll spend part of Christmas Day with Mr. Sandwich’s side of the family. We’re still figuring out which part, though, so we’re not sure if we can count on eating crepes or tri-tip.

    One of the things we struggle with each year is the deluge of gifts. We are by no means minimalists (which you probably guessed by seeing the random assortment of crap in the background of the blurry photo), but we are finding that our holiday gift-giving style is a bit on the lean side.

    I came from a family of bounteous Christmases. It took me far too long to figure out that when people asked what I got, I shouldn’t name every gift, because no one else was getting that many. There were reasons for why my parents (particularly my mother) went overboard, and I understand them. But as time passes, that is less and less my style.

    Mr. Sandwich’s family gives fewer gifts per person, and I’m finding that to be more comfortable. Sometimes the pile of gifts under the tree can feel like an impending avalanche. And I want Baguette to be aware of what she gets, not just have a vague memory that there was a lot of stuff. At the same time, I know that my family just wants to give gifts, and I’m certainly not going to tell them that their generosity isn’t welcome–because it comes from a really good place, and that’s more important than some arbitrary limit on gifts that makes me feel in control of the day.

    But I do really like this idea, from Frugal Mama–stockings filled with messages rather than gag gifts!

    Oh, and this rings true, from The BadAssMama Chronicles.