Tragic Sandwich

Tag: French fries

  • Made-Up Rules for Our Imaginary Children

    When Mr. Sandwich and I were married, but before we had Baguette, we made many pronouncements, as you do. Some of them still hold, like leaving the restaurant when we cannot keep her quiet and calm. Some of them remain untested (we are not fans of demanding MORE candy from people when trick-or-treating, and yes, we’ve seen that happen, but she’s not really a fan of trick-or-treating). Others have fallen by the wayside.

    “No junk food before age 2! There is plenty of time to eat french fries later, but they don’t need them that young!”

    At just under a year, Baguette reached up and pulled a french fry from Mr. Sandwich’s mouth and ate it. She loved it. Now I just wish she’d eat fries, because that would mean one more thing she eats.

    “No TV before age 2!”

    At about six months, she came home from day care with a fever. She felt awful and was exhausted, but could not quite tip over into sleep. I looked for something age-appropriate and stumbled across Yo Gabba Gabba. I thought, “Wow, this show is awful.” A minute later, she passed out on her own lap, and I thought, “This show is GREAT.” From there we found Pajanimals and Sesame Street (well, I knew about that one) and Wibbly Pig and Stella and Sam. We have never watched Yo Gabba Gabba again. That show is awful.

    “We will never get a portable DVD player or own a car in which one is installed, even if we have to take a hammer to it. Our children can look out the window and play the Alphabet Game like we each did.”

    We are seriously considering buying a portable DVD player for the car.

  • Five Guys Named Meh

    So in the Burger Wars, Five Guys has mounted an assault on In-n-Out. In our part of town, that means that they opened a store on the opposite side of the Costco driveway from In-n-Out.

    Five Guys is new to the area, but I know people are passionate about their burgers. And Mr. Sandwich and I are fond of a good burger, so last night we headed over to sample the offerings.

    When we walked in the door, we noticed that the floor was covered in peanut shells. We have an appreciation for the peanut-shells-on-the-floor motif, but this didn’t work. There weren’t enough peanut shells. And the floor was tile, which is the wrong surface for peanut shells (better: concrete or wood). What each of us thought was, “It looks like a dirty In-n-Out.” Mind you, there was nothing about the restaurant that seemed dirty. It actually seemed quite clean. Except the peanut shells made it look like they just hadn’t bothered to sweep for, say, three days.

    So we got in line to order our food. Each of us got a bacon cheeseburger–mine with mayo, lettuce, tomato, and grilled onion, and Mr. Sandwich’s with lettuce and BBQ sauce. Mr. Sandwich also ordered the bacon cheese dog, and we split an order of fries.

    The food was served fairly quickly, but unfortunately that’s where the positives stop. Now, I like a well-done burger. I am opposed to E. coli. (Call me crazy.) But even for me, this burger went beyond “well done” and bordered on “hockey puck.” Two hockey pucks, actually; apparently Five Guys sells doubles by default. And it turned out that the counterperson heard “tomatoes” and typed in “pickles.” But even with pickles, nothing had much flavor–not the burger, not the bacon, not the fries.

    And the fries are cooked in peanut oil. That means we can’t let Baguette have them, because she’s not supposed to eat peanuts for another couple of years, or something like that. Fortunately she slept through most of the visit (which was a little surprising, considering that they were blasting classic rock).

    So our verdict? We don’t see what the big deal is. Where Five Guys is like In-n-Out, they’re not as good. Where they’re like The Habit, they’re not as good. If they’re trying to split the difference between those two, they haven’t done so in a way that is distinctive or particularly successful. And unlike either of those competitors, they don’t offer shakes.

    It wasn’t bad. We just don’t see what the big deal is. Now, maybe if a Shake Shack comes to town…

  • Beep Beep

    Beeps is one of many cooked-to-order fast food places, not just in the Valley but in L.A. generally. The menu is enormous, with everything from hot dogs to burritos.

    With that many options, naturally Mr. Sandwich and I each had a chili cheese dog, and split a large order of fries. The verdict? The chili cheese dog was okay, but not amazing (it could have used more chili, which I almost never say), and we should have ordered a smaller portion of fries. Why? The fries were quite good, but a large is enormous. We could have been happy splitting a smaller order–and I say this as someone who loves potatoes so much that she once gave them up for Lent. Mr. Sandwich found his chocolate shake to be quite creamy, and I enjoyed my black cherry shake–although again, I would have been happy with a smaller size.

    Beeps also serves breakfast. Since I have yet to find a good breakfast diner, I’d go back and see how the pancakes are. Hmm . . . there’s a three-day weekend coming up . . .