Tragic Sandwich

Tag: college

  • Thoughts on Measles

    I have been vaccinated against measles four times.

    FOUR!

    The first time, I was one year minus three days.

    The second time, I was going into the third or fourth grade, and my school required that I get the vaccination again because they required that you get it on or after your first birthday, and as I mentioned above, I got it three days shy of my first birthday.

    The third time, there was a measles outbreak at colleges in the Midwest, and my mother decided that this put me in danger in California, and insisted that I get the measles vaccination again. The student health clinic asked me if I wanted the MMR, and I said, “No, just measles, please.” (The outbreak did spread. This in no way prevented me from being irritated with my mother.)

    (Then, when I applied to grad school, they required that I also be vaccinated against mumps and rubella, but I couldn’t get the MMR because I’d gotten the measles vaccine that fall, so I had to get two more shots separately, which I also found irritating.)

    (I am easily irritated.)

    The fourth time was in 2011, when I got the MMR.

    So that’s four measles vaccinations, which seems like plenty.

    If I get the measles, I am going to be so pissed.

    toy syringe from child's doctor kit

  • Happy Halloween! Don’t be Scrooge McDuck

    Ringing Doorbells

    My mother always said, “I don’t care how old the person is, I’ll give them candy if they’re wearing a costume.” I don’t even draw that line. Seriously, I have given candy to the parents of trick-or-treaters. What, I suddenly can’t spare a tiny Snickers?

    During my senior year in college, a bunch of my friends and I dressed up and went trick-or-treating in the extremely fancy neighborhood adjacent to our campus. We even had a theme, dressing up as characters from an epic–although since we were writing that epic ourselves, there is no way that anyone would have gotten the references. We were careful to stay out of the way of actual children, but we wanted to go out and have a harmless good time while we were still together.

    Generally, we got a positive reception. But I still remember the exchange I had with one homeowner:

    Me: Trick or treat!
    Scrooge McDuck: I hope to God you’re collecting for UNICEF.
    Me: Okay, I’m collecting for UNICEF.     But I’m only collecting candy.
    Scrooge McDuck: Aren’t you a little old for this?
    Me: Apparently not.
    Scrooge McDuck: (holds out tray of candy) Just take one.
    Me: But, ma’am, I’m exposing myself to the ridicule of you, and others like you. Don’t you think I deserve two pieces for my strength of character?
    Scrooge McDuck: Just take one.

    So she got to make her point, or save more candy for small children, or whatever it was she wanted. And I get to tell this story. For the rest of my life.

    Happy Halloween, everyone! And don’t be Scrooge McDuck. Unless that’s your costume.

    Photo by mia3mom, via Flickr.