Tag: Cheeseburger Challenge

  • Fine Dining at Bargain Prices

    You know that thing? The one where the people you love make your eyes roll extra hard?

    Yesterday afternoon, my father-in-law calls to ask if we want to join them for dinner. “It’s too hot to eat here,” he says, “So we can go out.”

    To Burger King.

    Because they have coupons.

    Mr. Sandwich’s family is made up entirely of fitness nuts. His dad will comment on someone’s BMI and speculate on their resultant health at the drop of a hat. He once told me that he likes to offer ice cream bars as dessert, because a guest is less likely to ask for seconds.

    At the same time, a coupon is a coupon. As Mr. Sandwich says, “My father has always had an appetite for a deal.”

    Since we in fact have nothing planned for dinner, we take Baguette to the pool and then head across town (Again, we have been invited across town. To Burger King.) I call to let them know we’re en route, and Mr. Sandwich’s mother is delighted. She calls to Mr. Sandwich’s father to get out from under the car, which he is fixing.

    Also, she hangs up just as I say, “We’ll meet you there.” So I call her back a few minutes later, and that turns out to be a good move, because she is startled that we are not coming by the house and then all driving over together.

    I do not want to get Baguette in and out of the car an additional time. We say we will meet them at Burger King, and she tells me the intersection and says, “It’s next to the Subway and across from the McDonald’s.”

    She also instructs me, “Don’t order until we get there. We have the coupons.”

    McDonald’s is about two miles from their house, and is where they get “Senior Coffee” after their morning run. (My in-laws are in their late 70s and win their age divisions in races, so of course they run to McDonald’s).

    McDonald’s is also home to the Big ‘n’ Tasty, which, as my father-in-law is fond of saying, is “just as good as In-n-Out.”

    NO. NO, IT IS NOT.

    We pull into the parking lot, and agree that while we may be waiting to order, we are not waiting to order for Baguette, who is the most likely of us to start screaming when she gets hungry. She screams, “Fash! Faaaaaash!” This means “hungry,” except for when it means something else, and I don’t know why either of those things is the case.

    So we order chicken nuggets, fries, and milk for Baguette, who in short order bumps her milk and spills it on her fries, but thankfully is not upset by this turn of events, possibly because there are chicken nuggets to be had.

    The woman at the counter says, “Is that all?” I answer, “We’re waiting for my in-laws” and think better of adding, “They have coupons!” because the woman at the counter seems very nice, and it’s not her fault that my in-laws are, um, extra quirky. So while I probably had a completely insane expression on my face, at least I didn’t say anything that went along with that.

    I feel even better about it when my in-laws arrive, and it turns out that they are regulars at this Burger King. Apparently there is more than one place to go for Senior Coffee, and they come here so often that the staff gives them gifts.

    Fortunately my father-in-law realizes that he cannot reasonably require us to confine our choices to the remaining unused coupons in his coupon book, and we order food that we suppose we’ll be okay with, because neither of us particularly likes Burger King, with or without coupons.

    And it was, just as we anticipated, totally mediocre. It wasn’t bad–although I didn’t feel good afterward–it was just meh.

    But it did remind me that I never wrote the final post about my Cheeseburger Challenge. So let me just skip to the end: Burger King has an edible small cheeseburger. Del Taco, a late entrant, turns out to do reasonably well (although theirs is priced a little higher). The winner, such as it is–and just as I thought it would be–is Wendy’s.

    Based on how icky I felt after last night’s meal, though (and not just last night’s, but the last several fast-food meals), I think my next fast-food adventures will focus on a Salad Challenge.

    I just need to come up with a better name for it.

  • Cheeseburger Challenge: Round 1

    Let the cheeseburger-eating commence! Actually, it already has, because I ate a lot of cheeseburgers on our Thanksgiving trip to visit family. Here are the contenders so far:

    In-n-Out
    Automatically excluded. It’s just not fair to the other cheeseburgers.

    In-n-Out cheeseburger with grilled onions
    See what I mean?

    Carl’s Jr.
    Do they even have small burgers? The best I could do based on the displayed menu was the Famous Star, which is nearly twice as big as what I’m looking for. Turns out–if you go to their website–that they do have a “Kid’s Cheeseburger,” but I didn’t even see kids’ options available when I was in the restaurant. So I guess I need to go back to Carl’s, which frankly is annoying.

    Jack in the Box
    I had to go to the kids’ menu here, too, but at least I could find it while I was standing at the counter. Unlike McDonald’s, the onions on this were sliced instead of chopped. This seems to come only as a combo, with french fries or apple slices* and a choice of milk, water, or fountain drink. The cheeseburger was okay, but I felt sneaky ordering a kids’ meal for myself. Is there a rule, or something? It feels like there is.

    Wienerschnitzel
    I’m not sure I would have put this into the mix, but there was one right next door to our hotel, so what the heck? They have a cheeseburger that seems about the right size. It was fine, but I felt like it had the worst presentation–it seemed kind of mashed. Oh, this one had chopped onions.

    So far, we haven’t tried Wendy’s or Burger King or anything else that comes to mind, so there will have to be a Round 2.

    But I may have to wait a bit. To be honest, I’m a little sick of cheeseburgers right now.

    *McDonald’s offers apple slices as a fry alternative, but they don’t come with caramel sauce, which I think more than undoes the good here. Point to McDonald’s in the kids’ meal arena.

  • Kicking Off the Cheeseburger Challenge

    Cheeseburger Potholder Set

    On Saturdays, Baguette and Bestie have swim class at a local Y. Afterward, we all go to McDonald’s for lunch.

    I kind of hate McDonald’s.

    It’s not that there’s nothing there I like–it’s more that they keep getting rid of the things I like best.

    For a while, Baguette would only eat the McBites. Then they got rid of McBites. It turned out she also was fine with Chicken Selects. So what happened a few weeks ago? That’s right. They got rid of Chicken Selects. And on top of that, whoever handles McDonald’s Twitter account has never responded to my questions about this. (This is actually a pretty basic thing about social media–they should be answering direct questions.)

    Don’t get me wrong. I ate plenty of McNuggets as a kid. But they really creep me out now, because that’s not what chicken looks like.

    And McDonald’s has some new sandwiches that I kind of like, particularly the CBO. But it’s enormous, and I’m not usually looking for enormous.

    Over the past couple of years, I’ve realized that I cannot eat those big fast-food burgers. I just feel like a giant mess afterward. So I started trying the various chicken sandwiches, but the truth is, I just don’t like chicken that much. And the fish sandwiches are few and far between.

    What I really want is a cheeseburger. You know, the size of the regular cheeseburgers that I grew up with, and that McDonald’s still sells. It’s enough food, but it’s not overwhelming. And it’s not a diet food, but the calorie count isn’t completely out of control.

    The problem? McDonald’s has lousy cheeseburgers.

    Actually, they don’t. McDonald’s has lousy cheeseburger buns. I’m okay with the meat and cheese and toppings, but there is just something off about those buns. (In comparison, the Big Mac buns are just fine–but I don’t want a Big Mac, I want a normal-sized cheeseburger with a decent bun.)

    It occurs to me that it’s good to have things I can eat at fast food chains. It’s not that I want to eat there all the time–I really burned out on fast food when I was nursing, and drive-through was the only way I was able to get any lunch at all, many days. But sometimes you’re in a hurry or on a road trip, and fast food is a viable option.

    It’s very easy to stare blankly at the menus, which I can find as overwhelming as the sandwiches. But since I know that what I really want is a regular cheeseburger, I want to know how the various regular cheeseburgers compare.

    So I therefore announce the Cheeseburger Challenge. I’ll keep you posted.

    Heh. Posted. Because it’s a blog, get it?

    Photo by Wednesday Elf – Mountainside Crochet, via Flickr.