Let the cheeseburger-eating commence! Actually, it already has, because I ate a lot of cheeseburgers on our Thanksgiving trip to visit family. Here are the contenders so far:
In-n-Out
Automatically excluded. It’s just not fair to the other cheeseburgers.

Carl’s Jr.
Do they even have small burgers? The best I could do based on the displayed menu was the Famous Star, which is nearly twice as big as what I’m looking for. Turns out–if you go to their website–that they do have a “Kid’s Cheeseburger,” but I didn’t even see kids’ options available when I was in the restaurant. So I guess I need to go back to Carl’s, which frankly is annoying.
Jack in the Box
I had to go to the kids’ menu here, too, but at least I could find it while I was standing at the counter. Unlike McDonald’s, the onions on this were sliced instead of chopped. This seems to come only as a combo, with french fries or apple slices* and a choice of milk, water, or fountain drink. The cheeseburger was okay, but I felt sneaky ordering a kids’ meal for myself. Is there a rule, or something? It feels like there is.
Wienerschnitzel
I’m not sure I would have put this into the mix, but there was one right next door to our hotel, so what the heck? They have a cheeseburger that seems about the right size. It was fine, but I felt like it had the worst presentation–it seemed kind of mashed. Oh, this one had chopped onions.
So far, we haven’t tried Wendy’s or Burger King or anything else that comes to mind, so there will have to be a Round 2.
But I may have to wait a bit. To be honest, I’m a little sick of cheeseburgers right now.
*McDonald’s offers apple slices as a fry alternative, but they don’t come with caramel sauce, which I think more than undoes the good here. Point to McDonald’s in the kids’ meal arena.