So in the Burger Wars, Five Guys has mounted an assault on In-n-Out. In our part of town, that means that they opened a store on the opposite side of the Costco driveway from In-n-Out.
Five Guys is new to the area, but I know people are passionate about their burgers. And Mr. Sandwich and I are fond of a good burger, so last night we headed over to sample the offerings.
When we walked in the door, we noticed that the floor was covered in peanut shells. We have an appreciation for the peanut-shells-on-the-floor motif, but this didn’t work. There weren’t enough peanut shells. And the floor was tile, which is the wrong surface for peanut shells (better: concrete or wood). What each of us thought was, “It looks like a dirty In-n-Out.” Mind you, there was nothing about the restaurant that seemed dirty. It actually seemed quite clean. Except the peanut shells made it look like they just hadn’t bothered to sweep for, say, three days.
So we got in line to order our food. Each of us got a bacon cheeseburger–mine with mayo, lettuce, tomato, and grilled onion, and Mr. Sandwich’s with lettuce and BBQ sauce. Mr. Sandwich also ordered the bacon cheese dog, and we split an order of fries.
The food was served fairly quickly, but unfortunately that’s where the positives stop. Now, I like a well-done burger. I am opposed to E. coli. (Call me crazy.) But even for me, this burger went beyond “well done” and bordered on “hockey puck.” Two hockey pucks, actually; apparently Five Guys sells doubles by default. And it turned out that the counterperson heard “tomatoes” and typed in “pickles.” But even with pickles, nothing had much flavor–not the burger, not the bacon, not the fries.
And the fries are cooked in peanut oil. That means we can’t let Baguette have them, because she’s not supposed to eat peanuts for another couple of years, or something like that. Fortunately she slept through most of the visit (which was a little surprising, considering that they were blasting classic rock).
So our verdict? We don’t see what the big deal is. Where Five Guys is like In-n-Out, they’re not as good. Where they’re like The Habit, they’re not as good. If they’re trying to split the difference between those two, they haven’t done so in a way that is distinctive or particularly successful. And unlike either of those competitors, they don’t offer shakes.
It wasn’t bad. We just don’t see what the big deal is. Now, maybe if a Shake Shack comes to town…