I need to stop comparing myself to others, even people I admire.
After all, they’re not doing what I’m doing, either.
Category: Parenting
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Why Baguette Has Her Own iPad, Part 2
She can use it to teach herself sign language. -
Why Baguette Has Her Own iPad, Part 1
It spurs her speech, helps her expand her vocabulary, and reinforces sorting and matching skills. -
Disruption Can Be Good
We spent the last week visiting family out of town. For Baguette, routine is king–but this morning, I was reminded of why disruption can be good.
The trip was great, and I’ll write more about it later. But it was also exhausting, because we were constantly on the move, seeing new places and spending time with people who Baguette doesn’t know all that well yet.
Last night, after we got home, Baguette used more full sentences than we usually hear in a week. And they were new ones, like “Mommy, get the ball” (it had rolled under a piece of furniture) and “Mommy, I want green Play-Doh” (more typical is simply “Green Play-Doh”)
This morning, she started reciting the alphabet. This is not unusual, but here’s what was: She was also signing it. All that time this week she spent playing with the Baby Sign and Sing app we’d bought her?
She’s been teaching herself ASL.
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Keeping the Holiday Stress in Check
Impossible, you say? A lot of people would agree with you; the Washington Post reports that holiday stress makes this the most challenging time of year for many women.
I have wonderful memories of childhood Christmases. There were always lots of gifts.
There were decorations–lights on the house, and a tall, full tree festooned with ornaments, and tinsel. There were cookies–my mom’s shortbread cookies remain some of my favorite Christmas cookies, even though I haven’t had them in years. There was a big meal–roast prime rib, Yorkshire pudding, creamed spinach, and baked potatoes, with gingerbread for dessert.
But none of that was what made those Christmases special. Fun, sure, but not special.
No, what made them special was the love. The time we spent together, taking turns exploring those gifts. Making dinner. Watching movies. Playing new board games.
That’s what I want to give Baguette. And I want to make those elements part of her childhood, too. But that doesn’t mean I have to make it stressful. My secret? Setting boundaries.
Tree: I want to have a tree. But it doesn’t need to be the 8-foot-tall Balsam I grew up with. We’re just as happy with a 4-1/2 foot Noble fir (Mr. Sandwich and I like trees that have layers of branches, the better to hang ornaments). In fact, we only had a tall tree once–and that was because we were so late in buying our tree last year that the tree lot was out of the small size we’d hoped for.
Decorations: Mr. Sandwich strings lights on the house each year. I love them. But we don’t need to go all Clark Griswold in the process. (I have plans to make a door wreath of buttons. I’ve had this plan for years. Someday, it’ll happen.)
Gifts: We don’t need to give a lot of them to each person. We just need to open them together.
Food: Well, I do like that traditional meal. But, really, it’s not that hard to make, and it’s pretty easy to plan it so that everything comes out hot at the same time.
Cookies: I don’t make Christmas cookies. I want to, but what I really want to do is make them with Baguette, and she’s not quite ready to do that. Maybe next year. I feel like next year’s going to be a big one.
So our Christmas may be smaller-scale than many, but we’re spending it together, with our focus on each other. And that really is all I want for Christmas.
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Sunday Snow Play
It rained in L.A. yesterday. With the colder temperatures we’ve been having, that means that the mountains got snow. And that means that today we went to the mountains.
Baguette even had her first snowball fight. Which she started.
A good time was had by all.
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My Balance, Revisited (Again)
I want to blog, but it’s so hard. So. Hard.
Time is fleeting, and filled up. Here’s what my balance looks like, for the past two weeks and the foreseeable future.
5:00 Alarm goes off. Hit snooze button.
5:09 Hit snooze button again.
5:17 Get out of bed before the alarm goes off again. Wash face, brush teeth, etc. Open dog door. Unload dishwasher and dish rack. Wash remaining dishes. If Baguette needs to take lunch to daycare, pre-heat thermos.
5:35 Finish morning ablutions.
5:45 Sit with Baguette so that Mr. Sandwich can get up and get ready for work. Catch up on Facebook and blogs in RSS reader. Check weather for day.
6:10 Get up and assemble Baguette’s breakfast, snacks, water bottle, and lunch (unless it’s one of the days for which we’ve pre-paid for hot lunch). Put ABA binder in bag (if it’s Monday, put sheets and blanket in bag). Assemble my breakfast and lunch, if I got them prepared the night before
6:30 Get dressed. Put insert in toilet seat for Baguette.
6:45 Take Baguette’s pre-selected clothes and stage them for getting her dressed. Choose different clothes if weather forecast has changed from night before.
6:55 Wake up Baguette. Comb her hair. Sit with her in bathroom. Get her dressed.
7:10 Leave for daycare. Take Baguette to her classroom and set out her breakfast and water. Drop off ABA binder, bag, jacket, and any other items needed for the day.
7:17 Drive to bus stop or to work, depending on whether I’m actually on schedule.
8:20 Arrive at office building. Buy breakfast or parts thereof, depending on what I brought.
8:30 Turn on computer and check email. Touch base with Mr. Sandwich, to let him know how Baguette’s morning went. Work.
4:30 Leave work.
6:00 Arrive home. Evening ABA session starts. Prep dinner. Participate in ABA.
7:00 Eat dinner. Participate in ABA. Check calendar to see if Baguette has hot lunch at school. Check weather for next day. Lay out my clothes for next day. Lay out Baguette’s pajamas.
8:00 Sign ABA provider’s timesheet. Give Baguette her bath.
8:15 Get Baguette out of bath and get her dressed for bed. Take Wicket outside one last time. Close dog door for the night. Feed Wicket.
8:25 Load dishwasher. Wash other dishes and put in dish rack. Play with Baguette. Check Facebook.
9:00 Go to bed. Read to Baguette. Hope she falls asleep by 9:30. Go to sleep ASAP after that.The big difference from my balance in 2011 and 2012 is ABA. It’s a big difference.
And this isn’t just my balance. Mr. Sandwich’s day is not identical to this, but looks very similar. With a lot more laundry.
Photo by winnifredxoxo, via Flickr. Creative Commons.
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Remembering to Let Baguette Be Baguette
So it turns out that maybe the insurance authorization hasn’t come through quite yet. Fine. Whatever, insurance.
But in the meantime, I found this post on Squidalicious, which expresses something I want very much not to lose sight of: kids need downtime. They need to be themselves, even if the rest of the world doesn’t get that.
Baguette needs the ABA she’s going to get. It will help her move more easily in the world. But 25 hours per week of anything is a lot, particularly at her age. I want to make sure that she gets time to work and play in her own comfort zone, too.
She never lets me wear this many accessories. -
Don’t Panic, It’s Just Autism
So as I’ve discussed, Baguette has been diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder. We’ve been trying to navigate the process of working with the local school district, insurance, and a psychological agency to get her the services that she needs.
This is taking much longer than I think it should.
Part of this is because we are overwhelmed by it. There is always more paperwork–we still haven’t finished the intake form for the regional center. There are so many different service providers. And there is insurance.
The agency did an evaluation in September. We had all hoped that they would be able to start treatment this month. But the insurance authorization just came through this week. Thanks, insurance.
And in case that isn’t enough fun, keep in mind that we will have to change insurance companies in January, because our employer is going to stop offering our current plan. (This is not an Affordable Care Act thing. This is the routine “we’ll no longer offer that plan” thing. It’s irritating, no matter why it’s happening.) Will we have to go through authorization again? I suspect so. Will Baguette’s care be interrupted? I freaking hope not.
Authorization also means that we will be changing the kind of support we’ve been providing in Baguette’s classroom. For most of the past year, she’s had a “shadow” who gives her help in the classroom for part of the day. This is not covered by insurance. But when we start Applied Behavioral Therapy (ABA), there shouldn’t be a need for the shadow. Which will mean that we will be spending less on this–although we will still have co-pays for ABA–but also means that we will have to tell someone who’s been doing exactly what we asked her to that her services are no longer needed.
All of us, including the shadow, knew that this day would come, and indeed that it was a goal. That doesn’t make it easier.
And it looks like part of the ABA will take place at preschool, and part will take place at our home, on a mix of evenings and the weekend. So I’ll need to figure out how to modify my work schedule, which offers a variety of challenges as well. I am particularly anxious about this.
It’s a lot. And it’s not going to be easy. But the idea is that it will help Baguette, and that makes it worthwhile.
I just think “worthwhile” should come with less paperwork.
