The Mommy Wars have got nothing on 30 Rock’s Jack Donaghy:
http://www.hulu.com/embed/HEaAvapElh9bD_n1W56tJA/1053/1120
I have no idea why it’s not embedding. Clip and code courtesy of Hulu. Watch it now, because apparently 30 Rock won’t be there forever.
I know Mr. Sandwich won’t go for this. I know I will. I really want to see how Baguette feels about it.
It sounds delicious, and like something I can do. First things first, though–I’ll need to place an order with Penzeys, darn it!
I live in L.A., which means it never gets that cold. Mind you, you’ll find plenty of people bundled up against the weather. But it doesn’t rain that much, and while the temperatures can drop over night, a really cold day in the L.A. area has highs in the 50s.
That said, this winter has been unusually warm and dry. We usually have spring-like weather for a few days around New Year’s, and then some more in February. This year, though, we’ve had the occasional chilly day, but most of the time our highs have been in the 70s and even 80s.
While this sounds great to someone shivering through a snowstorm, consider this: winter is southern California’s rainy season. And along with our lack of cold, we have a lack of precipitation. It is really, really dry.
So to my fellow Angelenos, I guess I should say this: while the weather’s good, start planning your home fireproofing measures. If we don’t get more rain, this fall’s going to be a doozy.
I’m trying to cook more, and to use what I have. One of the things I have is several freezer bags of ham, left over from a bout of Christmas cooking. Another thing I have is a variety of dried beans, from a bout of frugal shopping without a plan. So yesterday I went through the pantry, pulled out the Crock Pot, and made a batch of ham and beans.
Friday night, I took the ham out of the freezer and sorted, rinsed, and soaked the beans overnight (after a few hours of soaking, I drained the water and continued soaking them in fresh water).
Saturday morning I moved the beans out of their bowl into the Crock Pot, added the cooked ham, poured approximately a cup of pureed tomatoes in, and added dried minced onion (Mr. Sandwich hates the texture of onion, so I try to minimize its effect as much as possible). I set the heat on high for about an hour and then turned it down to low.
After several hours, the sauce was okay, but pretty bland. Considering how few ingredients were in there, I’m surprised that this surprised me. So I added dried sage, paprika, some chipotle powder, some chili con carne, ground black pepper, and a little bit of sea salt–plus a couple of tablespoons of brown sugar. Then I continued to let it cook for a few more hours.
The end result was better than I’d dared hope–rich, flavorful, a little smoky, and a tiny bit sweet. Although the original recipe claimed to be a soup, this is definitely not that. I ate it over rice, and Mr. Sandwich ate it plain. Both of us plan to eat more.
Not bad for an experiment!
We’ve always known we love Baguette’s day care center. It’s like paying a second mortgage, but totally worth it–we miss her, but we don’t worry about her. And when she’s there all day, that’s important. The teachers balance structure, creativity, and affection, and she loves every one of them. She also has friends, including a BFF who adores her. Really, can you put a price on all of that? We’re glad that we can (barely) afford it–although we are looking forward to the tuition drop when she turns 2.
But for the past two days I’ve had another reason to be grateful for day care: I’m sick. I have a nasty cold, and have taken two days off of work. And I don’t know what I’d do if I were a stay-at-home mom right now, because I don’t have the energy to get off the couch, much less manage an energetic 21-month-old.
Thank you, day care!
After I had Baguette, several friends had babies of their own. Since then, several others have as well. I’ve sent each of them a series of e-mails with products that worked or didn’t work for me; somehow it seemed that I would have to spend $45 to discover that the Awesome! Thing! That Saves Your Sanity! was something that Baguette just couldn’t stand–and I wanted to share my learning curve, in the hope of saving them at least some of those $45 increments.
What were our standouts?
Oh, wait–that’s six things. Ooh, a bonus item! So what worked for you? And what didn’t?
Me: Baguette, can you say “Please?”
Baguette: Yeah!
Seriously, who are these people? They flame on blog posts, they appear on Anderson Cooper’s show, they write books.
Write books? Who has the time? I mean, I don’t have time to read , much less write, unless I’m on the bus.
I work outside the home. I have friends and neighbors who do, too. I also have friends and neighbors who are stay-at-home moms. You know what? All of us are overworked. And so far, we seem to be able to get along just fine.
But it’s worth noting that the Mommy Wars aren’t new–we just talk about them more. I remember them going on between my mother (a fantastic stay-at-home mom) and some of my friends’ moms. They would say, “I don’t have time to help with X. I work.” And my mom–who was very involved in things like Scouting for both me and my brother–would reply, “I work, too. I take care of your child on Tuesdays from 4 to 6. But you don’t pay me.”
She wasn’t an innocent bystander, though. She believed that being a stay-at-home mom was right. For everyone. And she’d tell people that.
I feel differently. There are two key things I’ve learned in 21 months of parenting. The first is that there is a very broad range of “normal” for child development. The second is that there are a lot of ways to be a good parent. People try hard to find the path that is best for them and their families. But if we’re all individuals, then why are we going to follow the same path, at the same time, at the same pace?
My answer: we’re not. And that means that I can tell you what works or doesn’t work for me, but I don’t have a hard and fast answer about what you should be doing.
So what do we do about the Mommy Wars? My approach is to be confident that I am doing the best I can for my family, and ignore the war. If someone thinks I’m wrong, well, it’s a free country. They can think that. They can even say it. But how can they know what’s best for my family, when they’re not part of my family?
“Elmo!”
“Say ‘please.’”
Silence.
“Baguette, ‘please’ is a nice way to ask for something you want. Say ‘please’ and you can watch Elmo.”
Silence.
“I know you can say ‘please.’ I’ve heard you do it before. Say ‘please.’”
Silence.
“Okay. No Elmo.”
Silence. Baguette then throws herself across my lap, as if to say, “If I can’t get my way, I will make it impossible for you to do anything but hold me.”
Time passes. Baguette gets up and decides to eat yogurt.
“Squacky!”
“Say ‘please.’ You can watch Pajanimals if you say ‘please.’”
“PEAS!”
Well. I guess we know who’s really important in the Henson pantheon. And I’d just like to point out: we won.
Now we just need to win 999,999 more times.
Photo by magnusfranklin, via Flickr.
I yell at Baguette a lot. Not when I’m angry or frustrated–that’s happened from time to time, but I’m generally able to talk through it with Mr. Sandwich rather than snap at her. Everyone should get to be married to someone like Mr. Sandwich. It really makes all the difference.
But I digress. Here are some things I’ve caught myself yelling:
At some point I hear how loud I am and say to Mr. Sandwich, “Why am I yelling at her?”
Neither one of us has any idea. But I’m pretty sure all the neighbors know when we’re out for an evening walk.
